Christmas Rituals
by Chezza
Summary: SG-1introduces their new team member to an annual Christmas ritual.


Title: Christmas Rituals  
  
Author: Chezza  
  
E-mail: cyberchezza@tiscali.co.uk  
  
Status: Complete  
  
Sequel/Series: N/A  
  
Summary: SG-1introduces their new team member to an annual Christmas ritual.  
  
Season: Six as it's Jonas, not Daniel.  
  
Spoilers: None  
  
Category: Holiday/Fluff  
  
  
  
Characters: Jack O'Neill, Sam Carter, Teal'c, Jonas Quinn.  
  
Pairing: Some S/J shippiness.  
  
Rating: PG, cos G is for Disney….  
  
Warnings: None  
  
File Size: KB (in Word)  
  
Archive: Helio, Gateworld, SJD, jackfic, ff.net, my site…. If anyone else wants it, just lemme know   
  
where you're taking it, so I can come visit :)  
  
Disclaimer: Ain't mine! Surprise…. Stargate and it's characters etc, belong to all those folks who   
  
actually make *money* out of them. Any original stuff in there is mine. Tho' sadly, it's unlikely to ever   
  
bring me any cash….  
  
Feel free to borrow any original stuff that may appear, so long as a) you lemme know and b) you bring   
  
anythin/one you use back in one piece at the end of it. As the jackfic saying goes 'ya break him, ya fix   
  
him'.   
  
Authors Notes: This fic is entirely based on a little Christmas ritual that myself and other three   
  
members of my team at work, carry out faithfully on the 1st Dec every year. Hope you like and I'd love   
  
it if you let me know at what point you figure out what's going on – chocolate Colonels to anyone who   
  
'gets' it before the very end! :)  
  
Any 's's instead of 'z's, extra 'u's and other little quirks of the English language appear courtesy of the   
  
fact that Chezza is British :) "around words" indicates speech, 'around words' indicates thoughts.   
  
As always, thanks go to dragonlady for the beta. Flames will be used to light Teal'c's candles not   
  
like *that*! Get your mind outta the gutter, f'cryin' out loud! whilst flamees (flamers?) will be named   
  
and whumped in my next fic. Constructive feedback and criticism on the other hand, is always   
  
gratefully received and appreciated. Enough rambling! Enjoy folks!  
  
© Chezza, 2003  
  
~~~o0o~~~  
  
"Heads up, kids!"  
  
Jack's cap flew through the air and landed upside down on the centre of table with a soft 'flumping'   
  
noise. Jack punched the air lightly with his fist.  
  
"Yes! Score one!"   
  
"An excellent shot, O'Neill."  
  
Jack grinned.  
  
"Thanks, T."  
  
He spun around one of the two remaining empty chairs at the table and sat down, straddling it and   
  
resting his arms on the chair back. Jonas, sitting at the far end of the table, leaned over towards   
  
Teal'c.  
  
"Teal'c…what is it that we're doing here, exactly?" He asked quietly.  
  
Teal'c turned a grave look on his team-mate.  
  
"This is the first important ritual of the Tau'ri Christmas season, Jonas Quinn."  
  
"Ah. I see."   
  
Jonas nodded his head, not really seeing at all, but willing to go with the flow of things.  
  
"What does it involve?"  
  
He desperately wanted to know, it was his first Christmas on Earth after all. Teal'c gave him an   
  
enigmatic smile.  
  
"You will see, Jonas Quinn."  
  
"Ri-ight."  
  
Looked like he'd have to wait to find out. Not that he minded, but still…this was so exciting! He was   
  
being included in their Christmas rituals. It really made him feel as if he'd finally been accepted as a   
  
member of the team. He resisted the urge to bounce up and down in his seat, trying to sit still.   
  
Wouldn't do to let Colonel O'Neill see how excited he was...he might give him one of those glares   
  
again. He looked over at the Colonel. He was tapping his foot against the floor and drumming his   
  
fingers on the chair back. Hmm, maybe he wasn't the only one excited about this ritual after all….  
  
"Alrighty then!"  
  
Jack's sudden outburst broke into his musings.  
  
We have da cap – "  
  
Jack waved a hand at the lopsided cap sat forlornly in the middle of the empty table.  
  
"We just need the important stuff…Carter?"  
  
He twisted in his seat to see if he could find her.   
  
"Right here, sir."  
  
He spun round again to see her stood at the side of the table. He grinned.  
  
"Cool! You got 'em?"  
  
She nodded and held up her left hand, clenched tightly around the objects inside to ensure they didn't   
  
escape.   
  
"Yessir."  
  
Jack made an exaggerated gesture towards his cap.   
  
"Well jump to it then, Major – don't keep us all waiting in suspense!"  
  
Sam rolled her eyes.   
  
'How old is he again?'   
  
She leaned over the table and placed the handful of paper pieces into the cap. She took the seat next   
  
to him. Silence fell as they all stared reverentially at the cap and its contents, waiting for their leader to   
  
give the word to begin the ritual. After a moment, Sam nudged him with her elbow. Jack started, then   
  
shook himself out of the reverie into which he had fallen.  
  
"Ah, yeah…T, you wanna do the honours?"  
  
Teal'c inclined his head.  
  
"I would be honoured."  
  
Jack gave him a sharp look which Teal'c returned with a slight smirk. Jack grinned.  
  
"Good one."  
  
Teal'c felt a small sense of satisfaction that his joke had been caught. It was not often that happened.   
  
He carefully picked the cap up by it's brim and folded the soft cloth over, to prevent the paper from   
  
falling out. Holding it up, he ran his gaze around his raptly watching team-mates. Receiving a small   
  
nod from his leader, he shook the cap firmly and then placed it back on the table.  
  
"Thanks, T."  
  
"It was my pleasure, O'Neill."  
  
Jack looked around the table. He placed his hands palm down on the table and took a deep breath,   
  
exhaling slowly.  
  
"Okaaay…is everybody ready?"  
  
A chorus of assurances was echoed around the table. Jonas jigged up and down in his seat, eager to   
  
get started now that he'd twigged what was going on. Jack nodded sharply.  
  
"Right. Let's do this then."  
  
Jonas reached out towards the cap with a quick hand.  
  
SNAP!  
  
"Do not!"  
  
He yelped in shock and pulled his hand back, cradling it against his chest as he turned a hurt and   
  
confused expression towards the big Jaffa that had smacked his hand away.  
  
"That is O'Neill's right." Teal'c said crisply.  
  
Jonas looked over towards his other team mates. They were staring at him with amused expressions.  
  
"Teal'c's very…particular…about this tradition being done correctly, ain't ya big guy?"  
  
Teal'c gave a small smile, knowing they did not fully understand his insistence. The Jaffa code of   
  
practise stated that as leader, the honour of allocating roles fell to O'Neill. This was the correct order   
  
of things.  
  
"Indeed."  
  
Jack narrowed his eyes.   
  
'Was that a joke?'  
  
Teal'c schooled his expression to blankness.   
  
'Nope, can't tell with that one…'  
  
Jack shook his head. Flexing his fingers, he reached out and plucked a piece of paper out of his cap.  
  
"Aaand, the first name out of the hat – "  
  
Spotting his chance, Teal'c jumped in.  
  
"It is a cap, O'Neill."  
  
Jack gave him a filthy glare for interrupting, to which Teal'c replied with a raised eyebrow, daring him   
  
to comment. Jack cleared his throat.  
  
"Semantics, T. Soo, carrying on….the first name out of the *cap* - to please our Jaffa friend over   
  
there – iiiis – drum roll Major, please - "  
  
Sam shot him a 'you must be kidding' look. He flapped a hand at her.   
  
"Come on, Carter! Get in the spirit for crying out loud!"  
  
Sam gave an audibly heavy sigh and pulled a pen out of her top shirt pocket, tapping it against the   
  
desk. Ta-ta-ta, tap!  
  
"Iiis – "  
  
'Not me. Crap.'  
  
"Teal'c! Well done, big guy."  
  
Teal'c smiled broadly.  
  
"Thank you, O'Neill."  
  
Screwing the paper up, Jack reached for another one.   
  
"In second place we have – drum roll, Carter – "  
  
Ta-ta-ta, tap!  
  
"Ooo, me! Woo-hoo!"  
  
"Sure that's not fixed, sir?"  
  
Jack shot her a look.  
  
"Any more accusations of rigging the competition, Major and I'll take yours as well."  
  
Sam smiled sweetly.  
  
"I'd like to see you try."  
  
Pause.  
  
"Sir."  
  
Jack opened his mouth to say something, then thought better of it. Screwing the paper into a small   
  
ball, he placed it on the table and flicked it with his finger, shooting it across the table at her.   
  
Sam jumped as it hit her in the chest.   
  
'Heh. Score *two* to O'Neill!'  
  
Jack reached back into the cap, pulling out another piece of paper and unfolding it.  
  
"In third place, is – "  
  
He felt something light hit him on the hand. He looked down, the screwed up ball of paper had   
  
returned. He looked across at his 2IC, she stared back with her patented 'you can't possibly think I'd   
  
do something like that, could you, sir?' expression. Jack sniffed disdainfully. Of course he could. He   
  
knew her better than that. She batted her eyelashes. Jack gave a small grin. Yep, *definitely* knew   
  
her better than that….  
  
"As I was saying, in third place is…Carter! Happy now, Major?"  
  
She smiled.  
  
"Yessir. How come I didn't get a drum roll, though?"  
  
"Oh for…cos ya made false allegations!"  
  
"We have only your word that they are false, O'Neill."  
  
Jack whipped round to look at his friend.   
  
'What is this? Gang up on Jack day?'   
  
"Well I can reverse the order if ya really want, T…."  
  
"I do not!" Teal'c said with no small amount of haste. "Please continue."  
  
Jack nodded.   
  
"Good, so if there are no more objections – "   
  
He looked around the table, Teal'c and Sam resolutely avoiding his eyes.  
  
"The order for this year, is T, me, Carter and Jonas. Agreed?"  
  
"I Agree."  
  
"Yes, sir."  
  
"Uh yeah, I guess…"  
  
Jonas did a good job of trying to hide his crestfallen expression, but Jack spotted it.  
  
"Don't worry Jonas, someone's gotta be last. Look at it this way, it means you *get* the last, you   
  
know?"  
  
Jonas perked up at that.   
  
'Yeah it did, didn't it? Cool.'  
  
He grinned.   
  
"Thanks, Colonel."  
  
'Aaand the smile is back in place…job well done there, Jack.'   
  
Jack reached for his cap, shook out the remaining piece of paper and stuffed the cap in his leg   
  
pocket. Sam coughed.  
  
"Want me to type up the schedule, sir?"  
  
Jack nodded.  
  
"If you wouldn't mind, Carter. Should be easy enough to remember though – it's in age order this   
  
year."  
  
Sam thought it through.   
  
'Oh yeah, so it was…wow, didn't think he paid that much attention….'  
  
Jonas frowned, looking back and forth between Jack and Teal'c as if trying to work something out.  
  
"But…if it's in age order, um…shouldn't you be first, Colonel?"  
  
Sam choked.  
  
Jack gaped at him.   
  
'He should be…huh, what?!'  
  
Teal'c smirked. The young Kelownan was learning well. It was not often that O'Neill was left at a loss   
  
for words.  
  
"I am in fact over one hundred years old by Earth reckoning, Jonas Quinn."  
  
Jonas whipped his head round to stare at him, stunned.  
  
"Really? That's amazing! I mean…you don't even look as old as the Colonel, let alone *that* old – "  
  
Sam sniggered quietly. Jack glared at her. She sobered her expression with some difficulty, biting her   
  
lip.   
  
'Don't laugh…God, don't laugh….'  
  
Jonas gave Teal'c a puzzled look, Teal'c returned it with a questioning expression of his own. He was   
  
rather proud of that one. It was specifically designed to prevent people from asking his opinion on   
  
various matters. Jonas looked back to his team mates and promptly blanched, as Jack turned his   
  
glare on him and it hit him exactly how that could be construed.  
  
"Um...not that I mean that I think you look old or anything, Colonel…."  
  
  
  
Sam couldn't help the snort of laughter that escaped. It was either that or break something. As it was   
  
her mascara was gonna need a definite touch-up, by the time this was over. Jonas trailed off as   
  
Jack's glare just grew darker.   
  
'Ooo, help….'  
  
He tried to explain further.  
  
"It's just that you look older than Teal'c, even though you're not really - "  
  
'No, that doesn't seem to be helping….'  
  
"Jonas Quinn." Teal'c cut him off. "I would suggest that you remain silent. Before you excavate a   
  
larger hole for yourself."  
  
Jonas faltered and stopped.   
  
"Uh, sorry Colonel." He mumbled.  
  
Jack sighed and buried his face in his hands for a moment, shaking his head slowly before scrubbing   
  
his hands through his hair.  
  
"Ergh." He muttered.   
  
"Think I should dye it?"  
  
He was only half-joking.  
  
"No sir!" Sam protested immediately.   
  
Jack raised an eyebrow at her vehement protest. She back-pedalled quickly.   
  
"Um, I mean it looks fine just the way it is - it's…distinguished, sir."   
  
Jack broke into a broad smile.   
  
"Distinguished?" He asked, doing one of his trademark eyebrow waggles that always gave her the   
  
funny butterfly feeling in her stomach.  
  
Sam flushed and looked down.   
  
"Leave me alone." She muttered.  
  
Jack just continued to grin at her.   
  
'Distinguished, huh? Sweet….'  
  
After a moment she looked back up and caught him grinning at her. She looked away again. Then   
  
she looked back. Jack was still grinning. She looked away. Jack kept on grinning. She looked back,   
  
then away once more.  
  
Teal'c restrained the desire to roll his eyes. This could go on for some time if he did not bring an end   
  
to it. He stood up abruptly, startling them. One of these days he was going to lock them in a room   
  
together and let them 'get on with it' as Daniel Jackson used to say.  
  
"I believe I was first, was I not?" He enquired, even though he was already aware of the answer.  
  
"Uh yeah, sure. Go ahead, T."  
  
Teal'c strode over to the picture hung on the wall and peered carefully at it until he found the object of   
  
his search. A small smile of triumph crossed his face as he reached out and peeled back the cover.   
  
Reaching in with two fingers he pulled out what had been hidden inside.  
  
"So…wotcha got, T?" Jack asked impatiently from behind him.  
  
Teal'c frowned in dismay at the small morsel held in his hand.   
  
"I do not believe this Mars bar to be of the same size as the one depicted on the front of this advent   
  
calendar, O'Neill."  
  
~~~End~~~  
  
More Authors Notes: Just as an aside, the folk in my team are aged 40, 33, 31 and 24, respectively.   
  
Which just goes to show, you are *never* too old to have an advent calendar and don't let anyone   
  
else ever tell you otherwise! 


End file.
